How to help your kids bulid the confidence they need to stop bullying and acheive their goals.

If you want your kids to be Bully proof, then give them this simple tool to deal with a bully's taunts.  Tell your kids to say, "So what?"  A simple yet effective response to the insults of any Bully. 

Bullying is a game.  The game is to get the other person upset.  If you get upset you lose the game, if you do not get upset you win. Trying to ignore the verbal abuse is sometimes difficult and causes the bullied child to cringe or cower, which often inspires the bully to repeat the same jabs again and again.  A simple return glance and a casual "So what?" is disarming and shows the confidence needed to end the abuse.

Dennis Tosten









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Lavender Green January 29, 2013 at 05:49 PM
Bullying is a sickness! Not a game, it is something that is learned from a very early age. You want to teach your children to be smart, that does not mean fight it mean be smart. If your being bullied then tell someone, tell your parents, tell your teacher, tell someone who can assist you in helping this person get over their sickness. My daughter was bullied when she was in 9th grade. She was so scared that she thought the only thing she could do was to cut class. Of course that was not a good choice because she got caught and was in trouble. She told her counselor and believe it or not they didn't take her serious. Finely when she was forced to bring her parents into it this got fixed, trust me the school tried some half backed idea about fixing it but truth be told it took a parent to go to the school and tell them that they were going to take care of it on their own. Problem was solved and no one got hurt! So telling a child to make that statement does not work! Tell your child not to be afraid of a bully, tell your child that they must be that important to this person if this person cannot let them be, tell your child that together you will fix it, don't tell your child to back down or shut up!
AMERIKICK January 29, 2013 at 06:16 PM
I am so sorry to hear the difficulties your daughter encountered. i hope she is doing well now and she is lucky to have such a proactive parent. Bullying is of course a sickness to a normal person, it is a game to the bully. There are many levels of bullying and all of our classes include telling adults about the bullying. Bullies pick and choose their victims, and there are many levels of bullying.. The aim of the article is to let the bullies know that you are not an easy target and will not be affected by their taunts, before it escalates to the next level.
Lavender Green January 29, 2013 at 09:28 PM
true but if you teach your child to do nothing other then say so what then you are telling your children that its ok for someone to pick on them. THere needs not be fighting there needs to be a person to sit this bully down and explain that its not ok and that if they hurt someone the punishment should be as what was given.
Laura I September 25, 2013 at 02:55 PM
my child was dealing with a bully issue and addressed the bully through how they were / are taught at their karate school (ill leave out the name for courtesy). to say "so what," is step 1. if someone approached you at your grocery store and noted all the apples you were buying and how that was weird, how would you stand up for yourself? (with an awkward look im sure) you would say "bug off." is that doing nothing, or is it conflict resolution step one...? my son grew leaps and bounds after 4 months of karate class at his school. what would YOU do if supermarket weirdo kept following you around? wouldnt you then, as my son has learned, go and tell an authority figure? what they say as "bully proof" isnt an imaginary vest given to kids to stop the bad guys. and it isnt punching. this comes from within us all and i know my childs sensei builds from the inside out with what we asked our children to do since age 3, "Use your words!!!"


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