live together or get married?

Is what my grandmother always said, and this goes both ways, if you choose to live with another, which personally I have no issues with, just remember whether you be the male or the female or two of each and so on, if the time goes past more then one to two years chances are there is no wedding ring going one either of your fingers.So if your looking for legal commitment, for marriage, and your wedding is not banned by law in the state I say dump the person and start looking for what you want!

Its actually a shame these days because there are so many people who actually want to get married, start a family and so on, and either the law tells them they cant because they are the same sex or family pulls them apart because of beliefs or, well you all get it!

I try to explain to so many that I speak with that nothing and I mean nothing lasts forever, it cant it has to change, and it can either change for the good or the bad the choice is yours. When beginning a life together one must realize that there are three separate things going on at the same time, one must grow as a person themselves, one must allow their mate to grow as a person and the relationship must grow and change and progress together, if any of these are not happening then the relationship will not be happy.

In past times men were always the "ruler" of the roost, while most women took care of the home and meals and so on and normally so many women were so very unhappy that they just got depressed, then came the age where the women worked and brought home either equal or more money then their mate, and where did this get them? The children suffer cause one parent is not there all the time, they put their children in day care leaving someone else to raise them, and they wonder why their kids are the way they are, believe me you cant take credit for your kids if you push them off on someone else.

Now finely there are families who are choosing to have one parent home, one parent to raise the kids, they are choosing to allow their mate to grow and progress, they are wanting the stability the family. There are couples who are allowing one another to follow their dream and support them and grow and be happy with them.

Then we find those who are stuck, whether it be because they are with someone who has no ambitions, no goals, and sure enough not even the smallest amount of wanting to marry them, but yet they stay. Are these people excepting the other unconditionally? or are they just to scared to move on? Tough question because only those who are in that situation can no for sure, but most of those I have crossed paths with are to scared to move on because they doubt they will find another person they can "deal" with.

Now the other factor of reasons people don't succeed at their goal to rope that person in change them and live happily ever after.....
do you see what's wrong with that statement?

Never expect anyone to change to fit your needs, if you do then you are not excepting this person unconditionally and your relationship has not much chance of working, 

After speaking to many younger people I find one of the most common reasons still these days for couples to be broken up over is family beliefs, religion. I myself have been set on trial for this when I met and married my spouse 35 years ago. His family being catholic were horrified after they found out I was born and raised a witch. OMG he is going to hell now right lol. They liked me when they met me, before the unveiling of the "w" word, then it took a long time for them to understand and except they couldn't change me into a Christian.

The same with my son when he married his wife over ten years ago, her family thought we were evil, and now my daughter, she has the same issue with her future in-laws, they have corned her in a restaurant to question her, this was a very bad path for the insult and lack of respect will carry on forever with her.

But the point is no matter what there will always be people out there trying to make you something your not, so why start a life with the other person with those same conditions? If you want to b legally married I would suggest to do so shortly after moving in together, if you are not worried about that pc of paper then so be it too. Either way its your choice but don't kid yourself that its ok the way it is when its not.

Allow yourself to grow and allow the other to grow and together plant the future and water and care for it often, for sometimes one must remover weeds to see the beauty....